Jenni Hermoso and the DARVO Plot Twist
Tale as old as time: A majestic female accomplishment, immediately negated.
Latest example: Football/soccer star forward and world champion, Jenni Hermoso. Ms. Hermoso led her team to a first-ever World Cup victory for Spain, an inspiring moment that millions aspire to and should have been her greatest. But as she stepped up to receive her medal to thundering applause, her boss grabbed her face in both of his hands and kissed her on her mouth. Not a symbolic peck on both cheeks, full on mouth. Imagine if he had done that to a male football player.
Not only did the incident steal away what should have been a massive celebration for Hermoso and her team but was a full-on demo of power dynamics. And in a page, straight out of the DARVO playbook, her boss tried to play the victim card.
What’s DARVO?
It’s a mental mind f@#* to escape accountability: Deny any wrongdoing, Attack the accuser, and then Reverse the roles to paint oneself as the Victim while framing the accuser as the Offender. It’s also designed to make the victim doubt their own memory. Had this same scenario occurred without millions of people watching, it’s doubtful that Hermoso would have been believed. Even so, despite photos, her boss still tried to gaslight the global audience, effectively telling millions of people saying that it didn’t happen: “Who are you going to believe: Me or your own lying eyes?”
When that didn’t work, dude brought out the DARVO playbook.
By The Numbers
What typically happens when victims confront perps? One study showed that when people confronted their toxic abusers, they were confronted with:
The perpetrator denied the events (44%)
The perpetrator said the whole situation is a misunderstanding (22%)
The perpetrator told them they’re crazy (44%)
The DARVO Playbook
Step 1: Deny
First off, they deny. Flat out, no frills, just a straight-up "I didn't do it." It's as if they believe that saying it makes it true. Too often, it does, because women are rarely believed.
Step 2: Attack
After the denial comes the attack. This is when DARVO dude gets creative, knee-capping the accuser's credibility in any way they can. "You're too emotional," or "You're just looking for attention," are classic hits in this category.
Step 3: Reverse Roles
Finally, the pièce de résistance: reversing the victim and offender roles. Now, suddenly, he's the persecuted one. "You're ruining my reputation," or "You're the real problem here." In this case, the boss’s mommy gets into her boy’s drama, going on a “hunger strike” against Hermoso. Really, mommy???
Why It's a Problem
The issue with DARVO is that it muddies the waters, making it hard to hold someone accountable for their actions. It's a gaslighting technique that can lead to the erosion of trust, especially in personal relationships.
Awareness of DARVO is the First Step
So, why is it important to recognize DARVO? Because awareness is the first step in dismantling any manipulative tactic. And let's face it, nobody has time for these kinds of mind games. So, the next time you see it, keep Hermoso in mind because the DARVO playbook is against victims far too often.
And when you do see it, call it out for what it is: a last-ditch attempt to evade accountability. Instead of kneecapping victim’s credibility, it’s time to knee-cap DARVO.
