A Law Enforcement Veteran Shatters Six Sexual Assault Myths

As a retired female deputy sheriff, I've taken too many calls and seen too many lives ravaged by sexual assault. And throughout my career, I've also encountered numerous myths surrounding the victims, which somehow twists the blame. These narratives are dangerous, because they not only distort the reality of these vicious crimes, but also contribute to the stigmatization and re-victimization of survivors. So, it's crucial to address and shatter these myths with facts, and work toward changing society’s tendency to victim blame.

Myth 1: Sexual assault is often the result of miscommunication or a mistake.

Fact: Sexual assault is a crime, never simply a mistake.

Sexual assault is just not a misunderstanding between two people. It is a deliberate act of violence where the victim’s consent or permission is not given. Miscommunication implies a mutual error in understanding. But here’s the truth: Sexual assault means that one person unilaterally imposes their will on another without the agreement of the victim. This is a clear crime, where the perpetrator's intent is to control and dominate.

Myth 2: Sexual assault is provoked by the victim's actions, behaviors, or the way they dress.

Fact: Sexual assault is never the victim's fault.

This one is one of the most damaging: The distorted thinking that the victim's appearance or behavior can provoke an assault. This type of thinking shifts the blame from the perpetrator to the victim. Victim blaming. The truth is that sexual assault is a violent crime that is driven solely by the perpetrator's decision to exert power and control, never by the victim. No one "asks" for or deserves to be assaulted, regardless of their behavior or how they dress.

Myth 3: Most sexual assaults occur between strangers.

Fact: Most sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows.

Contrary to the frightening stranger-danger narratives, over 80% of sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows, such as a friend, family member, or acquaintance. I’ve seen it time again. Many women don’t even realize that they have been the victim of a crime because they know the person, so they never report it. And the fact that the victim knows the perp highlights the betrayal and breach of trust that goes along with these crimes, making them even more traumatic for the victim.

Myth 4: If the victim doesn't fight back, it wasn't really sexual assault.

Fact: Victims may freeze in fear or not physically resist due to the size/strength of the attacker or other factors.

The absence of physical resistance does not equate to consent. Many victims experience what is known as "freeze response" during an assault. This psychological and physiological reaction is a common response to extreme fear and does not imply consent or willingness

Myth 5: Victims who do not appear to be injured were not really assaulted.

Fact: Many survivors are not physically injured, as the threat of violence alone is often sufficient for the victim to submit.

Physical injury is not a prerequisite for sexual assault. The threat of harm, coercion, or manipulation can compel a victim to submit without physical resistance. Emotional and psychological injuries are often more prevalent and can be just as, if not more, damaging as physical wounds

Myth 6: Men cannot be sexually assaulted.

Fact: Men can be and are sexually assaulted, though it is often underreported.

Anyone can be the victim of a sexual assault, and the stigma surrounding male victimization leads to underreporting and a lack of support for those affected. Recognizing that men can be and are victims is critical for providing necessary resources and support for all survivors

Understanding that these myths are lies is essential for supporting survivors and preventing sexual assault. As a community, we must create the environment where survivors feel safe enough to come forward, and where perpetrators are held accountable for their actions and prosecuted to the full extent of the law.