What is a Domestic Dispute? It’s Often Misleading
The term "domestic dispute" (aka domestic disturbance) is often used in the media, by law enforcement and by legal commentators to describe conflicts between intimate partners or family members. But this seemingly mild phrase can be dangerously misleading when it is applied to situations that are actually domestic violence. In many cases, what is labeled as a "domestic dispute" is a situation where violence is involved, and one person is exerting power and control over another through violence, intimidation, and coercion. Is it arguing or is it violence?
Couple Arguing
The Problem with "Domestic Dispute"
The phrase "domestic dispute" implies a two-sided argument or disagreement between equals—a situation where both parties are contributing to the conflict. However, domestic violence is not a mutual disagreement; it is a pattern of behavior in which one person controls and dominates another, through violence or coercion (also known as coercive control). By referring to these situations as "disputes," it trivializes the experiences of victims and obscures the true nature of the abuse.
This mischaracterization can have serious consequences. When domestic violence is framed as a dispute, law enforcement, legal professionals, and even friends and family may not take the situation as seriously as they should. This leads to inadequate responses, such as not pressing charges, failing to issue protective orders, and downplaying the need for intervention and support services.
Law Enforcement Response
Law enforcement refers to these incidents “domestic disturbances.” And when they respond to calls and categorize them as a "domestic disturbance" versus "domestic violence," there are significant differences in how they approach the situation and handle the call. These differences influence the level of police intervention, the type of response, and potential outcomes for those involved.
Domestic Dispute
A "domestic dispute" typically refers to a conflict or argument—but where there is no immediate or obvious evidence of physical violence or indication from the victim that it occurred. In these situations:
De-escalation Focus:
Officers often approach domestic disputes with the primary goal of de-escalating the situation. They may attempt to mediate the conflict by talking to both parties, calming them down, and encouraging a resolution without the need for further legal action.
Assessment of Threat:
The assessment of violence is key, and the officers must interview all parties involved during a domestic dispute call to determine the truth. What is the actual level of threat? If there is no apparent danger or signs of violence, officers may consider the situation less urgent and treat it as a low-priority issue.
Limited Legal Action:
In many cases, unless there are signs that violence has occurred (an injured victim, broken furniture or a hole punched in the wall), that a crime has been committed or that one party is at risk of harm, officers might not take any legal action. They may leave the scene after ensuring that the situation has calmed down, without making any arrests or filing reports.
Documentation:
Documentation may be minimal, with officers sometimes only making brief notes about the incident. This can lead to missed opportunities to identify patterns of abusive behavior if future calls involve the same individuals.
Domestic Violence
"Domestic violence," on the other hand, refers to situations where there is clear evidence or history of violence, threats of violence. When officers respond to a domestic violence call:
Safety and Protection Priority:
The primary focus is on the safety of the victim(s) and the immediate protection from harm. Officers should assess the situation for ongoing danger, including looking for signs of physical injury, threats, or weapons.
Mandatory Arrest Policies:
In many jurisdictions, there are mandatory or preferred arrest policies for domestic violence cases. If there is probable cause to believe that a crime has occurred, officers are often required to arrest the alleged perpetrator, even if the victim does not wish to press charges.
Thorough Investigation:
A domestic violence call prompts a more thorough investigation. Officers are expected to gather evidence, take detailed statements from the victim, the alleged perpetrator, and any witnesses, and document the scene, including any injuries or property damage.
Victim Support:
Law enforcement may provide the victim with information about their rights, resources such as domestic violence shelters, and legal options like restraining orders. They may also connect the victim with advocacy services or ensure they have a safe place to stay.
Detailed Reporting:
Detailed reports are usually filed in domestic violence cases, which are then reviewed by prosecutors to determine if charges should be pursued. This documentation is crucial for building a case and for identifying patterns of abuse in recurring incidents.
Key Differences
Perception of Severity: Domestic disputes are often seen as less severe, leading to a less proactive response, while domestic violence is treated with greater urgency due to the potential for serious harm.
Response Protocols: The protocols for domestic violence involve more stringent procedures, including mandatory arrests, detailed investigations, and a focus on victim safety. In contrast, domestic disputes may not trigger these same protocols unless the situation escalates.
Legal and Supportive Actions: Law enforcement is more likely to involve legal actions, such as arrests and protective orders, in domestic violence cases. They also tend to provide more support resources to victims of domestic violence than in domestic disputes.
Impact of These Differences
The distinction between how law enforcement treats domestic disputes versus domestic violence can have significant implications. If a situation is mistakenly categorized as a mere dispute rather than recognized as a pattern of domestic violence, the response may be inadequate, potentially leaving victims vulnerable to further harm.
Incidents Where "Domestic Dispute" Was Misused
One tragic example of the dangers of mislabeling domestic violence as a "domestic dispute" occurred in the case of Gabby Petito, a 22-year-old woman who was reported missing in 2021 while on a cross-country trip with her fiancé, Brian Laundrie. Prior to her disappearance, police in Moab, Utah, responded to a 911 call reporting a "domestic dispute" between Petito and Laundrie. The police body camera footage showed Petito visibly distressed, yet the incident was treated by responding officers as a "dispute" rather than an indicator of potential violence. Shortly thereafter, Petito was found dead, and Laundrie was named a person of interest in her murder. But subsequently, the media and legal commentators continued to use term “domestic dispute” despite the tragic facts of abuse coming to light. Gabby’s case highlights how the misuse of the term "domestic dispute" minimizes the danger to the victim and results in a failure to recognize and act on signs of domestic violence.
Another example is the case of Marissa Alexander, a Florida woman who was sentenced to 20 years in prison after firing a warning shot to fend off her abusive husband during what was described as a "domestic dispute" by media outlets and legal commentators. Despite clear evidence of her husband’s history of violence, the situation was constantly framed as a dispute rather than an act of self-defense against domestic violence. Alexander's case sparked national outrage and brought attention to the systemic issues that arise when domestic violence is not properly identified and addressed.
Statistics on Domestic Violence
Understanding the scope of domestic violence is crucial to recognizing why it should never be minimized as a mere "dispute." According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner contact sexual violence, or intimate partner stalking, with impacts such as injury, fearfulness, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), use of victim services, contraction of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), etc.
Additionally, domestic violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime in the United States. On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. This equates to more than 10 million women and men annually. But the stark reality is that domestic violence is not a rare occurrence, and it is far from being a simple "dispute."
Additionally, domestic violence is often progressive, escalating over time, becoming more frequent and severe. The NCADV reports that in 19% of domestic violence incidents involving a weapon, the likelihood of homicide increases by 500%. And when law enforcement and the judicial system fail to recognize the severity of domestic violence by labeling it as a "domestic dispute," they are not only putting the victim at greater risk but also potentially enabling the abuser to continue their harmful behavior.
The Legal Implications of Mislabeling Domestic Violence
The language used in legal contexts can significantly impact the outcomes of domestic violence cases. When a situation is described as a "domestic dispute," it may influence how law enforcement officers, judges, and juries perceive the incident. This can lead to a range of negative consequences, including:
Underreporting: Victims may be less likely to report abuse if they believe their situation will be dismissed as a mere dispute.
Inadequate Protection: Victims may not receive the necessary legal protections, such as restraining orders, if the situation is not recognized as domestic violence.
Lenient Sentencing: Perpetrators may receive lighter sentences if the violence is downplayed as a dispute rather than being recognized as part of a pattern of abusive behavior.
In some cases, the mislabeling of domestic violence as a dispute has led to fatal consequences. According to the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ): “In 70-80% of intimate partner homicides, no matter which partner was killed, the man physically abused the woman before the murder.” These women might have been better protected if the initial incidents had been recognized and addressed as acts of domestic violence rather than disputes.
Role of Media and Public Perception
The media plays a crucial role in shaping public perception of domestic violence. Unfortunately, many media outlets still use the term "domestic dispute" in their reporting, which can contribute to the minimization of the issue. For example, headlines that read "Police Respond to Domestic Dispute" fail to convey the gravity of the situation and can lead readers to believe that the incident was less serious than it actually was.
Additionally, the media’s portrayal of domestic violence often focuses on the most extreme cases, such as homicides, rather than the everyday realities of abuse that victims face. This creates a skewed perception of domestic violence, leading the public to believe that it is only a problem when it results in severe physical harm or death. In reality, domestic violence includes a wide range of abusive behaviors, including emotional abuse, psychological manipulation, and financial control, all of which can have devastating effects on victims.
Changing the Narrative
To effectively combat domestic violence, it is essential to change the way we talk about it. This starts with rejecting the term "domestic dispute" and instead using language that accurately reflects the nature of the situation. When reporting on or discussing incidents of domestic violence, it is important to:
Use Precise Language: Describe the incident as domestic violence, intimate partner violence, or abuse, depending on the specifics of the situation. Avoid using terms like "dispute" or "altercation," which can downplay the seriousness of the violence.
Acknowledge the Power Dynamics: Recognize that domestic violence involves a power imbalance, where one person seeks to control and dominate another. This is not a mutual disagreement but a pattern of coercive behavior.
Highlight the Impact on Victims: Emphasize the physical, emotional, and psychological harm that domestic violence inflicts on victims. This includes not only the immediate effects of the abuse but also the long-term trauma that many survivors experience.
Challenge Media Narratives: Advocate for responsible reporting that accurately reflects the severity of domestic violence. This includes holding media outlets accountable for using misleading language and encouraging them to provide comprehensive coverage of the issue.
It is time to retire the term "domestic dispute" and replace it with language that reflects the seriousness and complexity of domestic violence. Only when we recognize the truth of the power and control dynamics involved in domestic violence and abuse can we begin to change the narrative and create a society that truly values the safety and dignity of all individuals.
