I was a Broward County deputy sheriff for 28 years – the same sheriff’s office that is now under fire for one of the worst law enforcement failures I’ve witnessed in my entire career: the case of Mary Gingles. I’ve seen violence, trauma and heartbreak-but this wasn’t some unpredictable tragedy. Because this was preventable. It was a law enforcement failure. The System that exists solely to prevent this type of tragedy: arresting perpetrators and preventing them from harming even further. But most of all, it speaks to a law enforcement culture that still doesn’t treat domestic violence like the life-threatening crisis it is.
I’ve seen it far too many times. How many more times do we have to hear these stories of murdered women and children and wonder why did it have to get to that?
It’s a fact: Domestic violence calls get minimized by law enforcement. They are mislabeled as “disturbances” or “bad breakups.” Eyes get rolled at “he said, she said” stories instead of hearing the desperation in a woman’s voice and her words. And when those women end up dead, everyone acts surprised.
The Law Enforcement Failure That BSO Repeatedly Ignored
Mary Gingles did everything she could. She reported her abuser. She called for help-14 times, she reported the threats, had multiple protection orders and gave law enforcement many, many chances to act before it was too late.
The red flags were blinding. She made her fear known. She told them her husband who had been threatening to kill her, was a military veteran, working as a contractor for General Dynamics, with multiple firearms in the house. He fit the classic pattern of a dangerous abuser. BUT: He also had something else: a rapport with the deputies. He came across as cooperative, familiar, maybe even “reasonable”. Like so many other abusers, he learned that if he buddied up to his law enforcement “bros” in a calm, unconcerned, nonchalant way, he makes her out to be the “crazy” one.
It’s reported in numerous interactions with deputies, Mary told them her husband has multiple firearms, silencers and hundreds of ammo. Firearms in a home with domestic violence raises the possibility of a fatal encounter 500 percent. Add alcohol and drug use, and it only ups the stakes. Still, BSO felt no sense of urgency.
Let me add that law enforcement is trained to recognize ALL of these signs. But seven deputies have been suspended for failure to act. SEVEN. Three of them with over 20 years of experience.
Dispatch Always Asks: Are There Weapons in the House?
The first question dispatch usually asks the caller of a domestic violence incident is, are there weapons in the house? This information is for the safety of the deputies responding, so they know what to expect. Also, they are informed on how many times police have responded to the house. Basically, a snapshot of valuable info. Mary gave a list of this crucial information for responding deputies to understand how dangerous her husband was becoming. And then, over and over…and over. Hoping something would be done to stop him.
The Restraining Orders
Then came the restraining orders. As in, more than one. But he continued to ignore them so he could terrorize her. He was supposed to have surrendered his firearms. But shat didn’t happen, and there weren’t any consequences from law enforcement. He was gearing up. Abusers are served with restraining orders so that there are consequences, so that stay away, stop stalking, stop terrorizing. But many become further enraged, leaving victims to live on eggshells, never knowing when they will be harmed.
Which is why they got the restraining order in the first place.
The Tragedy of the Murders
On February, 16th 2025, at 6:30 a.m., Nathan showed up at Mary’s house again, the house he was court-ordered away from. He shot Mary’s father who was relaxing on the patio, then chased Mary on foot into a neighbor’s unlocked house, he ran in behind, shooting and killing Mary and the unsuspecting neighbor in his room. His 4-year old daughter had been running behind him crying and pleading for him to stop. She followed him in the house and witnessed the carnage. He abducted her as he fled the scene. He was arrested in a nearby town and his daughter was found “unharmed.“
Throughout this ordeal, this 4-year old girl was in the middle of the growing tornado of violence. She witnessed the terrorization of her mother, heard the threats, traumatized by the tension of violence and having to be shared with a violent parent. Yet, no one, but her mom, Mary, thought of her safety. And she was doing all she could to keep her daughter and herself safe.
But BSO didn’t make that easy.
Where Law Enforcement Failed
Deputies and others did NOT follow training protocols, going right up the chain-of-command. And yes, there is domestic violence training at BSO. I know because I trained with them.
Like many other domestic violence situations, the threats against Mary by her husband was a slow-moving disaster that unfolded in plain sight. And the people meant to intervene didn’t do enough, nor act fast enough. Read more in our article about domestic disputes.
The Aftermath
Now there will be a trial. A story on Court TV of “what made him do it.” Three innocent lives were taken, and a four-year-old child is forever emotionally scarred – because a man refused to accept that he didn’t have have dominion over someone else.
And because law enforcement didn’t MAKE him understand.
Now this little girl’s life is changed forever. She’s in foster care and both sides of her family are arguing over who should have custody.
We must connect domestic violence and child abuse and see them as the deadly threats they are and not as isolated events.
What MUST change:
- The law enforcement eye-rolling of domestic violence cases must cease. NOW.
- Domestic violence must be seen as a predictor of murder. Whether someone has a violent history or not, the caller asking for help must be delt with urgently.
- When child endangerment an DV overlap, there must be cross-agency collaboration.
- Children in DV homes must be treated as high-risk. Being exposed to violence is abuse.
- We need more trauma-informed training across the board. So we stop missing the signs and start hearing what victims-adult and child-are telling us.