The Courage of Cassie and Gisèle Pélicot
Trigger Warning: Violent Content
Two horrific stories of domestic violence in the U.S and France may finally transform the culture of shaming, blaming and silencing victims. In the words of one of the victims: “Shame must change sides.”
Cassie Ventura and Gisèle Pélicot are women who come from completely different walks of life, yet their stories are both almost unimaginable in the horror and scope of sexual violence and rape inflicted on them by their respective former partners. Yet both are using their horrific stories to hold their former partners accountable, and they are holding their heads high while doing so. Not only in court, but the most public forums possible. They are refusing to bend to society’s insistence of silence and are using their stories to encourage other victims to speak up and to put the shame where it belongs: on the perpetrators.
Owning Your Power
Cassie Ventura
Consider the case of Cassandra “Cassie” Ventura, a 38-year-old American singer and model, who filed a civil suit against her former partner, powerful media billionaire Sean “Diddy” Combs under the New York Adult Survivor’s Act, (a one-year window that suspended the statute of limitations on sexual abuse and allowed victims to file suit against their perpetrators.) In her lawsuit, Cassie claimed years of physical violence and mental abuse during her ten-year relationship with Combs. The details are heinous: beating, locking her up in hotel rooms for days so that she could heal from the beatings, rape, coercion, administering her with copious amounts of drugs, intimidation, and causing an unrelenting fear for her life. Cassie has said that “She has required intensive medical and psychological care to recover from the trauma she lived through.” She adds, “Domestic Violence is THE issue. It broke me down to someone I never thought I would become. With a lot of hard work, I am better today, but I will always be recovering from my past. My only ask is that EVERYONE open your heart to believing victims the first time. It takes a lot of heart to tell the truth out of a situation that you were powerless in. I offer my hand to those that are still living in fear. Reach out to your people, don’t cut them off. No one should carry this weight alone.”
No one knows better than Cassie herself how powerful and dangerous Diddy is. But despite all of that, she showed tremendous bravery in filing the suit, coming forward against one of the world’s most powerful men. The suit was settled a day later, indicating that Cassie brought receipts/evidence. After she filed suit, ten more individuals also filed suit and the U.S. Department of Homeland Security recently arrested Diddy and charged him in a “Three count indictment with racketeering conspiracy, sex trafficking, and transportation to engage in prostitution.”. He currently sits in jail and has been denied bail.
Gisèle Pélicot
On the other side of the spectrum, in almost every way - 72-year-old Gisèle Pélicot (mother of 3 and grandmother of 7) is currently testifying in Avignon, France against her husband of 50 years. 71-year-old Dominique Pélicot is accused of administering anti-anxiety drugs to Gisele over a period of almost a decade, from 2011 to 2020. While she was unconscious, he would rape her and recruited other men he met online to come to their family home and do the same. She has said she spent years speaking to doctors about unexplained amnesia, not realizing her husband was drugging her regularly. He has admitted to drugging her into the state of a “deep coma” and inviting over 80 strangers he met in online chatrooms to rape her. He also videoed the encounters. “Only” 50 other men could be identified from the videos, ranging in age from 26 – 74. Police continue to search for dozens of other rapists. Far from the glamorous lifestyle of Diddy, this occurred in a small town in France, where “everyone knows at least one man involved.” A rape trial in France — and many other countries — would usually be held in a closed court, but not this time. Because Ms. Pélicot has waived her right to anonymity as an alleged victim of sexual assault, instead insisting that the shame must shift from victim to abuser. She wants the allegations spoken of loudly and widely. As she has said: “Shame must change sides.”
From Victim-Blaming to Empowerment
In coming forward, these courageous women are demanding a cultural shift. They are reclaiming their power by rejecting the outdated and harmful narratives that have long fueled victim-blaming. It takes an extraordinary amount of courage to speak out, especially when the world is quick to judge.
The courage to speak is not just about finding the strength within; it’s about changing the world outside. These women are starting conversations about consent, boundaries, and the mechanisms of control that abusers use. They are challenging systems that excuse or minimize the impact of abuse, including the legal, media, and social frameworks that often protect perpetrators.
The Ripple Effect of Courage
Courage is contagious. As more women step forward, they inspire others to do the same. They’re not just telling their stories; they’re actively transforming the culture around abuse and assault. Each woman who speaks out contributes to a growing movement that demands accountability and justice. The message is clear: Victims are not responsible for the actions of their abusers.
In honor of all the women who refuse to be silenced: your courage is changing the world.
We hope that these two brave women are finally starting the needed shift. They refuse to be silenced in the face of abuse, rape, and violence. They are pushing back against the age-old culture of victim-shaming and are redefining what it means to stand up to abuse.
